stupid americans
"If you record silence on a tape and then play it back with the volume all the way up, will that drown out the noise in the room?" -- Asked by a woman of her boyfriend at the time.

"Where do you think water comes from? The SKY?" -- From an overheard argument about water conservation.

Free Parking ($1.50 per day)" -- A sign at a parking lot in Ocean City, Maryland.

"Please! No walking allowed without membership card." -- A sign in a mall.

"If you can't read or write, phone this number."

"Raw toast? Eww." -- A high school student, looking dubiously at her sandwich.

"But it's only the bottom half that needs to be fixed." -- A teenager, to her father, after being told a flat tire would need to be replaced.