fyndið fyndið fyndið

On the other hand, you have different fingers
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left
Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date!
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't
I AM in shape! Round is a shape
100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
It only seems kinky the first time
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic
Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them
Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink
Don't give me that smart alec attitude. I already have one
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake
If there were no hypothetical questions, what would this say?
The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is the day they start making vacuum cleaners
The secret of flying is to throw yourself at the ground, and miss
Clones are people two
Assassins do it from behind
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip
Do your part for Ecology....Eat a Beaver...Save a Tree
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains
Here I am! Now, what are your other two wishes?
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck
Death is hereditary
Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have.
I'm not good at empathy. Will you settle for sarcasm?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Double your drive space. Delete Windows
What if the Hokey Kokey really is what it's all about?
No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better
Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole
I kept reading that junk food is unhealthy, so I gave up reading
Plan to be spontaneous, tomorrow
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is "never try"
Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings
Your computer may beat you at chess, but not kickboxing.
All generalizations are false, including this one
How does Teflon stick to the pan?
Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working properly when you open windows
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!


Lead me not into tempatation. I know the way
This is my end, get any closer and it will be yours
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up
ROCK IS DEAD! Long live paper and scissors
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants
I press the CONTROL key, but it's not giving me any!
Remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo
I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce
If it isn't broken, take it apart and find out why
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried
Therapy helps, but screaming obscenities is cheaper
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
Do I look like a f#*%ing people person
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
You!... Off my planet!
If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats

Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
Allow me to introduce my selves.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed
A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth
Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
Not all men are annoying. Some are dead
Too many freaks, not enough circuses
Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done